Finalising Construction of large white sculpture - it wasn't going well!

I was still struggling with focus and decision making about the piece, I felt really unsure about what to do and was struggling with concentration (it was at this point that realised that something else may be going on). 

I assembled the components of the white piece, it was challenging as lots of areas needed to be supported, I hadn't fully resolved how I was going to balance the piece and this ended up causing me issues later on.

I know I should have probably drawn out a plan of how I envisaged it would look, or at least attempt to design a mock up of the components just as simple shapes and what they would look like, I know that if I had done all of that I would have doubtless made my life much easier. I just couldn't think my way through how to do this, I don't sketch out my ideas before hand, i never have. I am a poor draughtsman and have absolutely no confidence in my drawing skills, I hate showing anything I have drawn and the whole style of think & see, followed by  sketching then making is just alien to me and massively re-enforces the feelings of self doubt and imposter syndrome I carry with me. 

In terms of the practical elements of the construction I knew that by using sponges, clay wads and kiln props I could support the various elements at greenware stage and throughout drying. The larger pieces joined well but the smaller, disc elements were much more challenging to attach. I really struggled to get the surfaces smooth between and around the joining points and this was very frustrating, it made me realise why ceramic artists adapt and make their own specialist tools and this was something I would definitely consider to help with sculpting pieces in the future.